In late 2003, the American Flag Institute conducted a study with 30,000 Americans. The subjects were asked a number of questions, like whether they consider themselves American, whether they consider themselves patriotic, and whether they had "God Bless America" bumper stickers. As Tom Brokaw noted on the NBC Evening News, the results of this survey were not very shocking. |
| — | 94% of Americans who thought we should go to war with other countries for economic reasons had never been to another country. Out of that 94%, 65% had never left their home state. 30% had never left their home county, and 5% never left their SUV. |
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| — | 83% of Americans who considered themselves patriotic were more than 20 pounds overweight. 98% of those who were overweight were morbidly obese. The remaining 17% had severe underbites. |
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| — | 76% of Americans with a "God Bless America" bumper sticker drive SUVs. Of the remaining 24%, 89% drive Lincoln Town Cars. |
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| — | 75% of Americans who considered themselves "pro-US" also considered Top Gun a good movie. |
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| — | 69% of hawks considered themselves religious. 73% of these people had heard of the Bible. 94% had heard of the name Jesus, but weren't sure exactly who he was. 10% thought Jesus was another name for the Ayatollah Khomenei. |
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| — | 41% of male Bush supporters have been convicted of mail fraud. |
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| — | 58% of Bush supporters have a high school diploma. 21% have a degree in vocational school. 16% have a Bachelor's degree. 5% have a Master's degree. 2% have a Ph.D. |
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| — | 91% of Bush supporters have pickup trucks and pasty white thighs. |
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