An artist's conception of what Jerry Seinfeld may have looked like as police entered the motel

America's erstwhile funnyman Jerry Seinfeld, creator of the hit television sitcom Seinfeld, was found in an Atlantic City motel on the morning of November 4th, 2004, dead of an apparent overdose of the animal tranquilizer amyl nitrate. Although the reason for Seinfeld's stay in Atlantic City is not clear, Rex Mojando, owner of the Chez Prix Escort Service confirmed that Seinfeld arranged to rent one of his ladies for the previous evening, most likely with the intent of engaging in sexual acts with her. Atlantic City coroner Mark Horowitz later confirmed these suspicions by releasing evidence that indicated that Seinfeld had expired during coitus.

Police were informed of the demise when the woman, whose name has not been released, called 911 at 8:45am complaining that a customer was refusing to pay for services rendered. When police arrived less than 20 minutes later, Seinfeld's body was at already at room temperature and putrifaction had begun.

At the time of the incident, police were only charging the woman with prostitution, which carries a 30 day maximum sentence, but Atlantic City Police Chief Marlon Hayes was quick to point out that that the woman is still under investigation in Seinfeld's death, apparently because of calls to police from other motel patrons the night before, complaining of the sounds of gunshots and breaking dishes emanating from Seinfeld's room.

Although there had been numerous reports of Seinfeld's unusual interest in underage women, Seinfeld co-star Jason Alexander claims that in the 9 years of their hit television program, he never saw Seinfeld solicit a prostitute. "That's just not the kind of guy Jerry was. He didn't need to; he had women flocking to him all the time," he mused in a statement released by NBC, "but that might have been because of the 'rich Jew' stereotype, which in this case was, I guess, accurate."

Seinfeld's 19 year old wife, singer Jessica Simpson, has arranged a private funeral for Seinfeld, who requested in his will that after his death, his body should go on display indefinitely in the Kremlin.